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  • On Sunday I witnessed the abomination they're calling The Three Musketeers. It was utter bobbins. Orlando was ordinary, the bloke who hangs out the back of Keeley Hawes is as dull as usual and the bloke who plays the big lad is not remotely memorable. Dogtanian has an truly terrible haircut.

    Christopher Waltz was quite good though, but the script certainly didn't stretch his talents.

    All in all 4/5 out of 10.

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