How to make your bike unattractive to thieves?

My bike is outside, right now, unlocked. This is where it spends all day whilst I'm at work. If it rains it can come inside.

No thieves here, yet.

That's so sad! I hate seeing bikes like this, where someone has basically jumped on or kicked in the front wheel. Why do people do this? Are they pissed and mistakenly think it's 'funny' when showing off to their mates? Or are they just total morons without a life and a cock the size of a peanut?

I think that one has had an interaction with a car/van/bus If it was just the wheel I'd think "attempted theft, they couldn't get it, so wrecked it". But bars are heavily bent too, would make sense that its been hit/pushed by a car.

As for making your bike look unappealing, just go crazy with duck/electrical tape, give a 5yr old a paintbrush and access to the 'shed of many random paints', add rust, either by leaving it out, or stripping it and rubbing in vinger.
Or just have a shit bike in the first place, like a £50 argo's bike.

But you just can't beat having the right locks for the job.

Hang a tag with a low price in a manner New Era hats' owners do.

hahaha, mine has that by default. £15 has been hanging from the saddle since I got the saddle 3yrs ago. Shows how much its been ridden when the £15 is still readable :S

My mum thought these were 'a good idea' hence why i received them as a rather confusing present last year.

http://www.dominicwilcox.com/stickers.html

That's awesome, are they easily removable? The website says they're printed on* clear paper*, which sounds like it could be difficult to remove. Is it actually just normal sticky vinyl? If so I need to get me some. How big is a single sheet of stickers?

Total pieces of shit get stolen in London, they're just not locked properly and/or left unseen for too long.

2 Krypto's and superglued ball bearings: I concor concur.

My mum thought these were 'a good idea' hence why i received them as a rather confusing present last year.

http://www.dominicwilcox.com/stickers.html

Blooming genius! I was going to use Hammerite and name my replacement bike Anal Disease - sadly I dont have a replacement bike yet. Cant decide how bad a machine I need to get to stay safe in London

+1 to stupid bike name sign writing.
If I ever build a modern alu fixed track bike thing, it'll be called 't3h Tight-Anium Bondage Bicycle'
And will have spoke cards depicting many unspeakable things.

That's awesome, are they easily removable? The website says they're printed on* clear paper*, which sounds like it could be difficult to remove. Is it actually just normal sticky vinyl? If so I need to get me some. How big is a single sheet of stickers?

Yeah, they're just like normal vinyl stickers, dunno where he got 'clear paper' from. They do come off pretty easily once you stick them, but a quick touch with a lighter would make them a bit more permanent i imagine. The sheet is about 14x10cm, you'd probably need a few to do a whole bike.

I don't have any need for them (my beater's got enough real rust), PM me your address and you can have them gratis if you want.

someone elsewhere was talking about buying Formula hubs and swapping the bearings for phils as a budget option. Seems like an ideal way to increase performance wsithout drawing attention to your shiny hubs.

special paste. That is all

Park your beloved bike somewhere attractive for a thief then hide and wait until somebody begin stealing it.... then beat them to a pulp or taser the shit out of them. One by one we can get those lowlifes, it will take plenty of time, patience and dedication but if we all do it at least once!

I'm -2 bikes in 6 months and ready to teach them a lesson!

just place a for sale sign on it, you get the right sort of attention an not theives.

I'm -2 bikes in 6 months and ready to teach them a lesson!

how about educating yourself on what locks are best and where is safer to lock your bike.

I completely forgot about my 'paedo kidney failure stickers'. I got some stickers while in Thailand a couple of years ago of a naked cartoon boy pissing blood. These will cover the 853 stickers nicely.

minimal

+1 to stupid bike name sign writing.
If I ever build a modern alu fixed track bike thing, it'll be called 't3h Tight-Anium Bondage Bicycle'
And will have spoke cards depicting many unspeakable things.

those Balki polaroids??

you'll get yours...

Good luck.

It was dark...remember?

^^ I wouldn't mind some of those polaroids to go with my paedo stickers, thanks Balki.

I know its really kinda sick,

but Iv had two bikes stolen, and one of them was the very day I got it.

So im gona make my next one all white, so it looks like a ghost bike and then stick a little plaque on it saying "in remembrance of my beloved, Super Colnago"

https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c5ab6335c5&view=att&th=130f2101b3d8adfc&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zwI was in bath today and spotted this.
Its a swarm of bees forming a nest on the bike, a definite deterrent to thieves i think.
Photos from aphone so shit and wonky.