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@cookiesdonniedarko
Jason, being slightly quicker than a car that can't move more than 10mph safely is nothing to be smug about.
However being faster than a car that can do 30, 40 or 50mph safely is something to be a smug bastard about ... It part of the BRA (Big Ring Attitide). To be a warrior one must choose worthy opponents ... not mock the weak (I do both ... but at different times .... I mock the weak for a hobby not as part of my duty).
I will have a Dodge Charger one day and drive it to work ... just to look like an lumberjack that had got lost and turned up in England
Anyway advanced commute techniques ....
1) It is best to ride alternate bike on alternate days, have a "slow" bike and a "fast" bike.
The reasoning for this, is that you will think on the faster bike you will ride faster as a given, when going back to the slower bike you will become frustrated and push the bike harder to match the pace on the fast bike.#
As a result you will keep on racing yourself and become faster ... more brutal and your BRA (Big Ring Attitude) will increase.
2) Look like you are slow, let the fucker overtake you and then speed up and sit on their wheel. Let them dictate the pace and when you feel strong ... blast past and leave em for dust.
3) Overtake a pretty girl on your Fixed/Single speed while going uphill (this proves that you have thighs that make the Earth fear your pedal strokes). Then "get caught by the red light" ... wait for her to compliment you on your janess. You then joke that you are a better man because of your lack of gears ... this implies that your penis size is inversely proportional to the amount of gears that your bike has.
i.e. Penis size (in feet) = constant ( 1 / no. of gears) (Remember you cannot divide by 0 on this one :D).
If all goes well she will compliment you on your janess and will at least have a chat about your bike ... and how you are nuts ... you will play this off as being "the norm" for you and she will either be suitably impressed or think you are a total nutter ... or both ... do not mention that you worship "the jan" (this makes them think you are a bit creepy).
Then forget to ask her for her name and number after doing all the hard work ... like a nob.