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@cliveo
Dear Mrs Windsor (or do you prefer Battenburg-Saxe-Coburg? I have to say that I'm quite partial to a nice slice of Battenburg with a cup of tea)
It would appear that my invitation to the wedding bash of your grandson and that Sloaney bint he's been seeing for the past few years has been lost or delayed in the post. Not to worry love as I cannot make it anyway as i am going on a ride.
Yours (actually not yours but my own person)
Clive xxx