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@General_Lucifer
I presume all this mad natter is about The Archers.
What I'd like to know, Clive, is when this Helen lass did the biz with the turkey baster, could you... well... hear it happening? Was there a lot of grunting and slurping noises provided by the BBC special effects department as somebody squelched their finger into a grapefruit to get just the right sound for a lubricated turkey baster slithering into a fanny, followed by the jolly Archers theme music?
If that's the case, then I'm tuning in.