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  • "I feel like Susan Boyle. Or Justin Bieber,"

    Maybe he means, you know, sexually.

    After all, he's lived behind a petrol station for ten years or something.
    He's probably gasping for a fuck, and after being trampy for a bit, your choices probably get a bit strange.

    After a few weeks he might settle down and feel like knobbing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in a golden Tonsilled three-way.

    Here's hoping.

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