Jokes / Joke du jour!

So, an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman break for lunch on a construction site. English Bob realises he’s been given beef paste sandwiches again and says, ‘Bloody hell, my wife knows I hate beef paste. I can’t take it anymore. If she gives me this again tomorrow, I’ll kill myself’. Scottish Angus realises his wife has given him tuna and cucumber sandwiches again. Crying, he says ‘Bloody hell, my wife knows I hate tuna and cucumber. I can’t take it anymore. If she gives me this again tomorrow, I’ll kill myself, I swear’. Irish Sean looks at his sandwiches, and it’s ham and mustard again. Says Sean, ‘Bloody hell, my wife knows I hate ham and mustard. I can’t take it anymore. If she gives me this again tomorrow, I’ll kill myself, you mark my words’. Next day, all 3 find they’ve been given the same fillings yet again, so each man throws himself to his death from the top of the tower they’re helping to build.

At Bob’s funeral, the wives gather around, distraught. Bobs wife says, ‘I can’t believe it. Had I known Bob hated beef paste sandwiches so much I’d never have made them for him. I love him so much, what have I done?’ Angus’s wife says much the same thing, ‘All this time I didn’t realise quite how much Angus disliked tuna and cucumber sandwiches. Now look at what’s happened – all our husbands, dead. What have we done?’ Sean’s wife says, ‘Well, I really didn’t realise Sean didn’t like ham and mustard. He always insisted on making his own sandwiches, the stupid bastard’.

Much better to tell this joke than write it.

total winner