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@deleted
Feel your pain Dammit...
if you've just signed up tho you are legally allowed a 14 days 'cooling off' period where you can cancel at any time. i.e cancel all direct debits at the bank, re-pack all the crap they've given you and send it back recorded delivery to them with a strongly worded letter. You can also go to OFCOM (or is it OTELO now?) if its over the 2 weeks since you took the contract and basically ask them to mediate as they 1 can't provide the technical service you bought from them, and 2, can't provide you with the means of resolving it directly yourself (if your experiences are like everyone else's then this will prob be the case).
Also, log every phonecall/name/call duration/promised callback etc as this is really helpful in proving you've made a reasonable/concerted attempt to resolve it, and is very valuable leverage when arguing with them.
good luck!