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@PinkGottiMobbs
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General Lucifer 
What the fuck is that?
These are bikes we are talking about, not fucking handbags.
You've gone out and bought a bike because you think people are going to look at you and think you are 'cool'. Cool, sire, you are not. You are a dick.
People are going to look at you, in your daft glasses and girl's bike, and say, 'look, there goes a dick."
If it became fashionable to exchange one's saddle for an ivory butt plug, you would be at the front of the queue with a big grin and a pot of vaseline.
You silly man.