Tip Top Top Tips & Little tricks..

People wear pants under bib shorts?!

I do, but only when also wearing jeans over the bib shorts.
It saves me washing them. There's no point to stink up the performance sportwear on my pub night. I wear sport undies, though - lightweight, no seams.

When fitting new brake cables, if you haven't got an 'end' to put on to stop the cut cable from fraying, paint superglue on the end - it does the same job*

*tip courtesy of Jimbilly

Also, when cutting cables, put superglue on the area to be cut, wait for it to dry and the strands won't unravel when you cut

Use nail varnish for that extra effect.

What about a good cable cutter and technique?

Any excuse to break out the nail varnish.

What about a good cable cutter and technique?

YouTube - Slow Motion Karate Chop Through a Brick!

YouTube - Taekwondo Full Roundhouse Kick Tutorial (Kwonkicker)

Two gems from my Dad, which I've never forgotten...

1. Never tell the truth to a policeman.

2. Unless there is evidence, always assume people are lying.

He's retired now, but he was a Judge for 25 years.

A 'Judge' you say ? . . . . that's what he told you.

If you are bored on a friday night, try popping into the local police station and asking for a portion of chips. When they say "this is a police station, sir, we don't sell chips", reply "oh, well I'll have a chicken doner then please."

Dual computer screens make everything better.

I had to go back to one for a while it was like having a hand cut off.

My little tips are;

• when removing an inner tube always start from the side opposite the valve.
  
• line the logo's on your tyres up with the valve hole, makes finding it in a hurry much quicker.
  
• Invest in good tyre levers, also try and get a long one (like an motorbike one) for really tight tyres. Never use uncoated metal levers they can damage your rims.
  -If you haven't got any rim tape electrical tape works just as well as long as you put three about layers on
  
• I learned this today; when using photoshop on a mac press 'f' when you open a document it'll give you a full screen gray background like in windows
  

If you are bored on a friday night, try popping into the local police station and asking for a portion of chips. When they say "this is a police station, sir, we don't sell chips", reply "oh, well I'll have a chicken doner then please."

: D

ooh, genuine tip:
a length of 700c innertube is the perfect size to be put over the water inlet in your toilet cistern and make your loo fill up very quietly after a flush. Cut it so it sits below the lowest waterline.

^
interesting.

If going to a fetish party wearing an outfit made entirely of discarded inner tubes, it is advisable to ensure that the valves are facing outwards.

speaking from experience clive?

Another chaffing accident?

Inner tube also works well as a shim for things that dont need to be under a lot of pressure like brake levers. Its also a good, if rather smelly, fire lighter.

I also remembered something i was told by an animal rights campaigner. If you want to piss off someone who owns a fax machine, feed a loop of black paper into the machine and send it to them.

When shopping for a new chainring, get a photo copy of the old one on your office xerox. You get the correct BCD and don't have to haul the multi-gram ring to the shops.

Works for sprockets too!

If going to a fetish party wearing an outfit made entirely of discarded inner tubes, it is advisable to ensure that the valves are facing outwards.

You've stolen that idea from Gertie.

I will confess that the image of Gertie on the hill climb has remained deeply embedded in my brain.

Does your roadway have road lice? Are you tired of the measly pest that won't get off the road or into the gutter, if you just shoo it?
Road lice can indeed be a nuisance, hurting your perceived convenience and sense of the ownership of the road.

But not to worry!

You can build a nifty little trap to make the road lice self destruct. Just install a little box at the front of the queue and tell the lice there's good things in it. Then just watch the witless pest get crushed. If you're real handy, you can fool the louse spokesman to encourage the lice get crushed by teliing that it's not their fault and that they should continue to do it cause it's a pro-louse thing.

True that many of the lice will escape the trap, but really it's enough for them to see their peers get crushed and they will learn to stay away from your roadway.

Today I was told that there is an epidemic of rickits in the uk because of over use of sunscreen. So maybe you shouldn't beleive everything you heard sung by baz lurman!

Also advice from my dad, who played left back for Wimbledon when they were non league, the first time a striker comes towards the goal take his ankles out as harshly as you can without getting sent off. He'll think twice before trying to get past you again. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD3O67VBEbk

^^ This tumps that sun screen^^

If you have an old pair of jeans, cut one leg off right at the top, turn it inside out, tie a knot in it, turn it back to not inside out and hey presto you have a sweet tool bag to stick in your bag. If you left it long enough the top part will fold over and keep your stuff inside safely.

Also, if you are eying up a girl from behind and are worried she may not be all that from the front, simply check out the guys reactions who are walking towards you. This is known as 'third party bintsurance.'