Cycling-Related Strength & Conditioning

I've just joined a gymnasium for the winter, as i seem to have padded out to the tune of 2st over the last 18months.

I Need some help structuring a routine. Currently, i'm thinking 3 sessions a weeks consisting of the following:

20 Pushups
50 Situps
2x30 Starjumps
2x50 Squat-thrusts
1500m running in my pants
Stretch
Sexually confusing shower

Advice and opinions pls

1. Find local school
   
2. Address sexually confused Welsh PE teacher thusly 'I want to work out'
   
3. Receive 'Workout'
   
4. 'Walk' home is as best a manner as you can still manage
   
5. Cry quietly in a darkened corner