Monkey Tennis

Breakfast at Tiffanys: A poached egg served atop peameal bacon with a light rosti, a toasted cinnamon bagel and a Hollandaise sauce. Your choice of Americano, Cafe Latte, Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong.

Breakfast with Frost: A bowl of Frosties, they're greeeaaaat.

Colleen's Reel Women.

Colleen meets some women who like to do a spot of fishing.

Final Snore

Annoyingly loud sleepers are unsuspectingly smothered by irritated spouses.

Dyer Straits.

Cheeky cockney wannabe placed in the Menai Straits, wearing speedos.

Holmes on Holmes

Katie talks about the writings of Conan-Doyle.

Disparate Housewives

Perfectionist housewives are sent to live with filthy first-year undergraduate students. Narrated by the lady who killed herself during the last series.

Something for the morning.

Fuckwit and brain dead co-presenter do some cooking and show the "best" of the week's TV and invite some unknown celebrity to f*ck up your Sunday.

Colleens Raoul Women

Colleen Rooney interviews Raoul Moat's ex girlfriends

Songs of Priapism

Live from Winchester Cathedral, Aled Jones introduces devotional songs regarding this painful persistent erection condition

Colleen's Rail Women

Colleen straps lesser WAGs to the train tracks and laughs at the ensuing carnage.

The Andrew Mare show

The former BBC political editor discusses what's hot and what's not in the filly world of horses.

Ready Steady Coon

Ainsley Harriot goes on a grinning murderous rampage against racists in the catering industry.

Peep Show

like through the keyhole but shown after the watershed

Mouse Doctor

A doctor is repeatedly sent out on emergency house-calls where he has to explain to the patient he is a vet and can't actually help.

Loose Women

No real dialogue, much less disappointing than its namesake

Lorena and the WAG's

Hilarity ensues when Lorena Bobbit provides practical tips to distraught WAG's

Neighbours. Tune in to see what your neighbours are watching.

[B][/B]River Frottage
Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall presses himself against strangers on crowded canal barges.

Simply Read

Thick-as-shit celebrities read aloud articles about themselves from the tabloids in the kind of stilted monotone normally only heard from the mouths of pre-schoolers reading Peter & Jane books.

The execution of Chris Moyles

Chris Moyles gets hanged in Thailand

Pol Pot Polls Pots

From Charm Offensive on R4.

Strictly Come Lancing

Celebrities in need of media exposure perform minor surgical procedures to release pus or pressure built up under the skin, such as from an abscess, boil, or infected paranasal sinus

The Cube

Phillip Schofield is locked in a 2x2x2m metal box and left to die.

stuff fern in with him, he'll go much quicker