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@lae
As a car mechanic - customer's car fails MOT as the brake hoses are frayed and leaked a bit. All sorted out, then the customer complains that his brakes are too 'sharp' and it almost caused an accident. Then he comments on my car in the car park and says that it's not road legal and he will report me to the DVLA. My car was an admittedly shitty-condition Datsun, but at least it had an MOT...
Working in the bike shop - Sold a cheap hybrid in December, customer comes back a month later and all the steel bits are really badly rusted and he wants a refund. I ask him where he keeps it overnight and he says 'by the side of the road'.
Which reminds me of another one - somebody who bought one of our bikes phones up and says it has a buckled wheel which they want replacing on warranty. They bring it in and it's completely pringled and the rim is squashed flat. Apparently this happened when he was just riding along.
I also saw someone kicking the crap out of their chainset in next door's car park before bringing it in and saying that his chainring was bent.
As a chef - had a table come in, order, have their drinks and eat all the bread, then get up and say that the mains are taking too long - one of the waiters comes in to check the ticket and see what time they ordered. So I go out there ask them what time they make it and they say X, I show them the ticket that says they ordered literally five minutes ago and if they want to leave they have to pay for the drinks and bread. They refused and being a busy angry chef I just phoned the police; they paid up pretty quickly after that.
Had another customer who was laying into a waiter because our card machine wasn't working because we had just opened. She was shouting so loud that I could hear her in the kitchen. So I came out and asked if everything was alright and explained that our card machine had only been installed the day before and that there was a cash machine literally over the road, and she screamed at me 'A RESTAURANT THAT DOESN'T TAKE CARDS?!?! THAT'S SHOCKING!!! SHOCKING!!! IF I CAN'T PAY BY CARD I'M NOT PAYING AT ALL!!! SHOCKING!!!!!!!112three'. Now the whole restaurant was staring at us and I just said 'No, a car crash is shocking, 9/11 was shocking, just pay in cash or I'll phone the police'.
I'm so glad to be back in education. Hopefully I won't have to have another shit job ever again.