What is the most authentic place to ride?

Have you thought of measuring the distance then timesing it by 2000 to find out how far you have ridden in a straight line? I bet it is a fair way. You could then plot this line on a globe between all the major fixed cities such as SF NY Tokyo etc. Maybe get the fibreglass people to mold a massive traditional globe for you?

I'm liking this Universal but have an alternative ideation for you. How about measuring the distance as above but plotting it onto the lines and creases in a picture of Lance Armstrong's face before having a giant prosthetic testi injection moulded (this is key, it must be injection moulded). And the picture of Lance with route plotted then projected onto the giant synthetic testi, which sits on a simple white plinth in a white space.

This says so much about distance, endurance, and manipulation. The three key elements of authenticity. Maybe we could have a thought-shower?