Martial Arts advice

Capoeira? Tai Chi? What the fuck are you guys talking about???

If someone comes up to me on the street and tries to bust some Tai Chi on my ass, I'm going to have time to rip off a fence picket and turn them into liquid before they have even had a chance to wind up their first punch.

Nope, Tai Chi is a proven martial art in Lei Tai and San Shou competitions, and some people that train it right are well hard.
You confuse the form with applications with fighting.

Maybe this push hands video gives you a better idea of applications:

YouTube- Tai Chi push hands ( Tui shou )-- Montreal