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@user16171
True story...
I was at a wedding last year of an old uni friend.
The best man was my mates oldest friend from home and a bit of a strange guy. Folk were a little nervous when he took to the mike.
But, god bless him, he walked the perfect line of sentimentality, risque gags and honest warmth and affection for the couple. The grandads had a chuckle and the grannies warmed to him.
What a smashing chap the audience thought.
It was very nearly beautiful.
His parting shot at the end of his speech went like this;
"So I found out the other day that the bride has a tattoo ladies and gentlemen" The bride was clearly not the tattoo type - cue audience pantomime gasp).
"I know!" He says "I was shocked too"
"Turns out she has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. So I said to the groom - Tell me, when you put you ear to the shell can you hear the sea?"
"Oh no, he said. You can't hear the sea, but you can fucking smell it"
Thank you and good night.