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  • Brevity seems to be on the money.
    I have done a few best man speeches, in one the two before me left everyone in tears! (the grooms father had passed away a few years back and it was tough for all) I had to follow that! I managed to insult, the french, australian, women, essex people and gays. i got many drinks after for getting them all in.

    I also took my mates mother out for afternoon tea and dug a little deeper. i got some cracking stories that - as they were from his childhood were innocent and could be related back to his behaviour today, also caught him offside and it is about him. If he gets embarrassed, laughs or flushes with nostalgia the rest of the room will pick up and join in.

    The line that got me in the most trouble was about the bridesmaids - now i believe it's customary for the best man to sleep with one of the bridesmaids, but as you will all agree, they all look absolutely stunning, its not a matter of which one... [grabs cock] but what order....[raises toast]

    Also throw away lines like
    "it's an honour to be best man, on a day when i am clearly a close second best, i think we all agree the groom has done an amazing job"
    "I am not saying he was an ugly child, but his mother had to tie sausages around his neck to make the dog play with him / she had to feed him with a sling shot"

    It also doesn't hurt to steal a few one liners from comedians, place them near to a sincere part and you will get bigger laughs.
    i.e
    "they make a lovely couple who have met each other at the right time in their life, i on the other hand married far too young... chinese girl.. strange name though!"

    If you want humour a little off the wall doesn't hurt. check out Stewert Francis - he has tooo many good one liners that can get you out of a tight spot.. i
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32pq2QycIEA

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