WTF cycling product.?!^%

You bunch of hypocrites! These things are so versatile, I bought one 3 weeks ago and it has really benefited me, I was unable to create a stool sample for 10 days and since I started wearing one the problem has sort of solved, all down to the bracelet. I've also got rid of my drug, drink and gambling addictions, Tourette and my cleptomania and pyromaniac tendencies.

Now my shit problem has gone I'm dismantling the bracelet and glue it on the back of my mobile in order to protect my brain from cancer and the like, I fully trust that it'll work.

It's the fucking vortex-mediated phase transitions man, the fucking vortex-mediated phase transitions.