Am I too big for a planet x track?

Throwing a lock round a carbon track frame? hilarious. Some people need picking up by the neck and shaking.
I've just got a carbon bike and I'm scared it will explode if I even look at it the wrong way.

Ed has a point though.. some people will ride these on street.
Personally I think they're fucking ugly but they do the job (track and tt).
Carbon rules. :)