Road bike recommendations

Lucas mate, come back when you understand humour o.k?
let me break it down for you,
"self respecting snob" I am saying that with my tongue in cheek,
dont really care what people do, ride or otherwise, in the real world.ffs.

Yes and you know when I say "fuck off you nob", I don't always mean it .... but then again you think it funny telling my mate to scare the shit outta me on my bike when I have been ran over twice and been out of work for months because of said incidents and still have massive confidence problems descending ... sense of humour ... hmm.