Pavement etiquette

So I'm out for my evening run and get clipped by some knob cycling fast, on the pavement, round a blind bend. As a long-term, hardcore, cyclist... what's the preferred response o the knob on the bike? Grateful for advice.

Kill them, preferably in the face.

If they're smaller, high tackle, shoeing, destruction of bike.

If they're bigger than you, "sorry sir, didn't see you there, sir".

Tell them that you won't tell their mum that they were cycling on the road like the big boys (and girls).

Grab the front brake, watch knob fall over help him up saying "you must have caught my arm are you ok" whilst going for his wallet/mobile phone/keys

If your elbow does happen to stop the end of a pavement-rider's handlebars, it might teach the cyclist that they're actually the vulnerable one in the situation.

I prefer the shoulder charge. Generally they have less balance than a pedestrian. As soon as they go over, swear at them for riding into you.

Kick their wheel, preferably the rear one.

What comes after is up to you. Personally, I'd run away.

someone nearly ran into my fathers dog the other day, i had crossed the road with dog on lead and a cycliist had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting the dog and me. she complained we were in her way.

i pointed out that there was a road and that they should use it, their response was there was not enough room on the road to feel safe - ffs there are two lanes of traffic on that side of the street.

so she got onto the road and promptly got back onto the pavement at the first chance

cunt was lucky i had not had my first coffee of the day so was not yet fired up to have a proper go at her

twat, if you are cycling on the pavement you really have no priority over pedestrians, should be fucking careful and should be ready to hang your head in shame

Moral of the story:

If dogs rode bikes none of this would have happened.

Flying headbut is the weapon of choice.

Moral of the story:

DJ attracts trouble as both cyclist and pedestrian.

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Moral of the story:

DJ attracts trouble~~ as both cyclist and pedestrian~~.

Fixed

cunt was lucky i had not had my first coffee of the day so was not yet fired up to have a proper go at her

caffeine-fuelled-commuting-rage-master FTW!

What happened to the dog though?
Did it need counseling afterwards?

Just as an unrelated issue, I think I've fallen in love with Yogi - the Crufts 2010 winner (in an appropriate way).... though cycling and dog exercising can be a problem as Scrabble the Weimeraner discovered after she ran into a bench at full pelt chasing her owner on his bicycle cycling through Hyde Park......

He was probably wearing flip-flops though. Shouldn't do that whilst cycling.

weirdly enough i got all dancing james at a jogger whilst out walking at lunchtime today. just out for a stroll down to the bike shop, i was wandering along, looking where i was going, i know i was looking because i was checking out a lovely jogging jogger coming towards me. she was one of three running ahem abreast running towards me on the pavement. one of them, a very sweaty guy misjudges a gap in the foot traffic in front of me and has to slow and sort of jink to get past me, and as he does he shouts "ahhh you fucker!" right at me! i've been trying to keep my cool on the bike lately and have calmed down enormously but for some reason as a reflex reaction i just let him have it, turned and shouted "fuck YOU!" unfortunately so surprised and indignant was I that it came out all sqeuaky and high. I added a much lower and louder "prick!" as he ran off but i still felt pretty silly for rising to it. and for sounding like shrill queen while doing so.

@virgin
cool name for a dog. ^^
pavement riding drives me mental, especially it is an adult,
engage the person,
(yeah alright if they are a mentalist and its dark, and you arent in your own area, etc. etc. dont)
ask them why arent they capable of riding on the road, are they scared? are they incompetant? shouldnt they be trying to grow up, if they are remotely capable of understanding the pros of cycling, then they should be at least listening to you,
suggest they get training, they may not even be aware that they are pissing people off, such is the 'me me me' attitude that prevails.
if all above fails, carry on, you are not the problem, offer assistance to anyone disturbed by someone who should know better.
then have a cup a of tea and a biscuit.
I firmly believe that peds and riders can co -exist on suitable peds areas, IF riders can be happy enough to go around walking pace,
and have proved it loads of times.

I sometimes nip onto the pavement but always give way to peds and stop completely if it looks like anyway near a squeeze. Douchebags who pelt down the pavement do need to be schooled (interpret that as you will). I have only lost my temper once at another cyclist (actually, that's giving him too much respect - he was a cock with a bike). Crossing a ped crossing with mrs stevo and her then 2 year old brother, who she was carrying. Green man for us, red light for traffic. There was a van and a car stopped in the opposite lane as we were crossing. Just as we were in front of the van this knob came flying past it's left hand side, grabbing his brakes and just about stopping before he hit mrs stevo and little stevo-in-law. I was that shaken, both with fear for there safety and anger at what had and could have happened. I made some non de-script angry noise and lurched towards him. He properly shit himself (I'm not a small chap and the noise probably still had a Northern Irish accent) but luckily I regained my senses to the fact that a) there was an impressionable 2 year old with us and b) that I'm not very good at violence. Point being, I'm still not sure how I would deal with a similar situation if I forgot either a) or b)

someone nearly ran into my fathers dog the other day, i had crossed the road with dog on lead and a cycliist had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting the dog and me. she complained we were in her way.

i pointed out that there was a road and that they should use it, their response was there was not enough room on the road to feel safe - ffs there are two lanes of traffic on that side of the street.

so she got onto the road and promptly got back onto the pavement at the first chance

cunt was lucky i had not had my first coffee of the day so was not yet fired up to have a proper go at her

twat, if you are cycling on the pavement you really have no priority over pedestrians, should be fucking careful and should be ready to hang your head in shame

Its not safe as you are usually on the road ;p

Moral of the story:

if dj had stayed at home and bummed the dog, again, then none of this would have happened.

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jealousy doesn't suit you damo....

i don't bum dogs.

anymore.

so damo's avatar is an animal that's disappointed because its not being bummed?