• I was dragged to Cadbury World the other day to tour the chocolate factory. Have to say it was really quite fun. All the happy-clappy kids stuff is rubbish, but the bits where you get to see the product line are amazing. The engineering that goes into making a Creme Egg is unbelievable. So high-tech. Each half of the eg is made, then the fillings are squirted in just so, so that they keep the right shape, then the halves are slammed together and sealed. The machines do it almost faster than you can see, though. The sheer quantity of the finished bars coming off each line is staggering. Think about how many people are tucking into a bar of dairy milk every second, around the entire country - that's how many are coming off the line each second. Astonishing.

    Just don't go in half term; little bastards everywhere, and each of them hyped-up on free chocolate...

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