The daily Close Call

Or you could have just tensioned your chain/sorted out an acceptable chainline.

Its not fixed yet. Its a 5 speed at the minute as im waiting for the back wheel. Thouhgt the chain had snapped initially as it was completely off the crank set. think it jumped off the smallest cog at the back (due to a little extra cable slack - yes my fault) jammed against the chain stay and ripped it off the front. All i was aware of was pedal pedal crunch ow.

Time: 9am
place: Putney Hill heading to Putney High Street
Crazy: Heading down the hill to the Lights before Putney Station. Decide to filter into the lane for oncoming traffic as traffic in my lane was chocabloc and the oncoming lane was clear, cycled in the middle of the road to give plenty of room for peds to pop their heads out and look both ways before crossing. Some lunatic then sprints out from traffic looking downhill (not in my direction) and heads like a heatseeking missile for my path.

Cue me shouting "heads" as I brake sharply and try to not hit him, he turns and sees me still at speed heading straight for him, His eyes show absolute fear as I travel towards him and somehow we manage to avoid a collision. I still can picture the look of terror in his eyes. It shook me up to as he had just ran straight in to my path and I ungallantly called him a "fucking retard" very loudly as I passed him which was unfair as I was on the wrong side of the road while he was running across it without looking properly so we were both at fault.

I feel bad for abusing the Ped but it was just an instinctive reaction to being a bit shook up.

Edmundson Electrical delivery driver - You're a Cunt

The reason that you have to look where you're going at 8.45 a.m. in the City of London, Mr Edmundson Electrical delivery driver, is that other people use the road, and cutting across two lanes of traffic, without so much as a peek at your mirrors, is irresponsible, dangerous, stupid and cuntish, all at the same time.

It's important to name and shame drivers, like you have. I think if he really was being such an idiot driver you should complain to Edumdson and talk about how likely it is to put you off being a customer.

where: bayswater road towards marble arch
who: strangely driven topless porsche
what: fixated by his phone on his lap, no attention to the road whatsoever; i followed alongside him for a bit watching his cross-lane-weaving for a bit before i pulled up again and shouted 'get off your f*cking phone, prick', all i got in return was a deathstare and some revving as he tried to come up behind me before getting stuck in traffic. not a close call as such, but who knows what could have happened

where: bayswater road towards marble arch
who: strangely driven topless porsche
what: fixated by his phone on his lap, no attention to the road whatsoever; i followed alongside him for a bit watching his cross-lane-weaving for a bit before i pulled up again and shouted 'get off your f*cking phone, prick', all i got in return was a deathstare and some revving as he tried to come up behind me before getting stuck in traffic. not a close call as such, but who knows what could have happened

You never know, he could have been on the phone to someone a hundred yards away.

^ true, and if i hadn't said anything who knows how long it would have been before he got hit or hit somebody, i just meant that i didn't have a close call as such

Cycling to work this morning, bus forces me into the gutter... I had to lean into it Robbie McEwen style to prevent coming off... got the heart rate up.

Skillz

I had my first run in with a learner, taking a right across my path in Dalston. You’d think a person would be cautious at that stage in their driving career, but maybe they hadn’t done the “judging the approach of objects smaller than a car” module yet. Or maybe they were on the “Driving in Dalston” module. Anyway, the dramatic halt (on my part – they didn’t stop) and my imaginative and salty oaths were good bike cam material. Next!

Skillz

LOL... more like this

Today's close call was with some numpty who overtook me without having anywhere to go (parked cars and oncoming traffic) so he gets past me and slams his brake straight on causing a very hairy heavy braking moment for me on a wet road. I also spotted he was on his mobile as he went past me.

I caught up with him a couple of streets later where he had finally pulled over to finish his phone call and tapped on his side window which he dutifuly wound down. I explained how he had nearly had me off my bike with his careless driving adding how talking on the phone had obviously not helped. The loser tried to tell me he had right of way as he was a car driver. WAC! I explained the error of his ways loudly enough for the person on the other end of the phone to know their friend was a prize tosser. Hopefully he'll be a bit more careful next time but perhaps I should just take him out with my van as that obviously has much more right of way over his old Nissan.

right of way eh? II assumed the explaintion you gave him was that the peds have the right of way, and cars only have the privilege to be on the road?

Yeah, yesterday some kid drove into me coming out of T junction. His two girl passengers spotted me but as I expected him to slow down, he sped up forcing my freshly purchased pudding to slide up his windscreen as I attempted to bang on the roof.

He did slow down about 50 metres further up the road though which was nice of him.

right of way eh? II assumed the explaintion you gave him was that the peds have the right of way, and cars only have the privilege to be on the road?

Unfortunately, my explanation was more of a rant but I think he got the message. If not he can always ask the person on the other end of his phone to explain it to him again :)

yeah big love to the guy who forgot to look right, drove around the corner and then came to a dead halt in front of me the bus lane so he could look out the window at KFC or something.

Junior cocksuckers in their first or second cars who circumnavigate Shepherds Bush Green, turn left off it and then look. May all you cunts burn in the fires of hell. If you do the same thing to me tomorrow I will embed my Kryptolock in your fucking skull and deal with the consequences later. You did it to me twice last week and this morning. I know where you park your heavily-modded Corsa and will happily pay a crackhead £20 to smash the window and shit on your seat. You spawny little cubic zircona-pierced hoxton-finned cunt.

I feel so much better for seeing that in type.

Unfortunately, my explanation was more of a rant but I think he got the message. If not he can always ask the person on the other end of his phone to explain it to him again :)

Did you mention that you were a White Van Man and that all the White Van Men ride bikes now? ;)

can't believe I made this stupid move today. I'm waiting at the crossing of Hyde Park corner and there's no way of telling if the light's green because a bus and a large truck are in the two closest lanes blocking the crossing. So, I start waiting. Then I notice two cyclists make to move off around the rear of the bus and truck. So, like a twat, I decide to follow them thinking they must know this junction better than I do. Of course, the furthest two lanes are still moving (with crazy friday afternoon speed) and I have the humiliation in joining in the pathetic spectacle of three cyclists trying to cross this traffic because I'm now in the middle of the fuckingroad. 2 morals from this: 1) noone's immune from making bad judgement calls, 2) trust your own common sense and don't assume people know what the fuck they're doing.

Some cunt on a unipac undertook me as i moved from the centre of a lane to the curb on OKR, I screamed at him.

Family of cunts in a smashed up red Jazz on outside Dalston Kingsland station in that weird chicane bit. Lovely touch, the driver made eye contact with me before promptly overtaking me on a corner, and happily pushing me into the curb before attempting to make a quick getaway.

In Dalston.

I caught up with 'em on Kingsland Road and the whole family were looking in every direction but mine. I swear they'd have been whistling if whistling wasn't the invention of the devil.

Interesting point of view from a roadie though, that the near crash wasn't really the drivers' fault because he wasn't paying attention. Interesting to know how that'd stand up in court.

Sloaney young woman in a Foxton's Mini almost brought my life to an early conclusion this morning. I managed to avoid her as she turned left across me but then I felt a touch of the DJ's and chased after her. She stopped and was profuse in her apologies, the best of which was that she didn't just drive an estate agent's car but also drove a normal one. Not sure why that was meant to make me feel happier. Hopefully she will be more cautious in future.

good work clive

generally if someone says sorry i dont escalate

though if they add smidnsy as their excuse this changes a little

A happy ending, Clive. What is is about minis?

Meanwhile, me at corner of Greenland Road and Bayham Street, a broken down car on the right, a stream of traffic on my left and a right turn for me. I decide to be cautious.

I'm in the middle of the junction, waiting for a break in the traffic, when I hear a series of beeps and see the driver furiously waving me out of the way. Keeping calm, I gesture at the traffic in front of us, and face the junction, the is no gap now, so I wait a bit longer.

Then I hear a 'crump' and feel her drive into the back of my bike, and turn right past me. She can't pull out, as she has to wait for the traffic just like me. I do my best dj and shout a stream of 'what are you up to madam', and then proceed to take a picture of her licence plate. At this point she gets out, blocks the road, and launches into a stream of 'you people'; 'you're bike's okay, what are you worrying about'; 'you should keep on the side of the road'. She refuses to give me her name or details, so I get the names of the perplexed chap whose car has broken down and continue on my way.

To my delight, I catch up with her, pull in front, and ride to optician's appointment (I realise this last fact makes it seem like a bad sketch show).

Oh, here's her idiotmobile.

No damage, but am sorely tempted to report to the local cop shop.

Call the police. Intentionally ramming another vehicle is an offence. Failure to stop after a collision is an offence.
Tell the police you aren't sure of the damage yet as you haven't taken the bike to the shop to get checked out yet.
If you get the bike checked out it's very likely the bike shop will find the rear wheel is slightly out of true (how many wheels are 100% perfect after being ridden on for a while?) so you could claim that was her doing.

Today was an odd one, not a motorised vehicle incident, but alas two f**kwits on cycle incidents, first one, I'm flying down Crouch End hill towards Hornsey nearly spinning in 53/11, out pootles white genesis flyer, headphones not looking right across me - how I didnt wipe him and myself out I'll never know, needless to say he went on his merry way weaving through traffic and RLJ through ped's.

Then after watching numerous other RLJ on Finsbury Park and Holloway road (not empty btw fast moving traffic) but I guess the headphones and wavefarers make you immune to getting hurt when a car/van hits you, I think well one near miss aint too bad, boom I get to Penton Road to jump off and head down Pentonville, so I go on the right of the traffic to get to crossing and low and behold cyclist weaves straight out of waiting cars to the right doesn't look and bang we collide - WTF!!!! surely, have a look mate if you're going to pull out to the right, but no its my fault somehow for cycling down the right and he didn't think anyone would be there, apart from cars, motorcycles and other cycles...

Guess it's the sunny weather, brings out all the chumps, roll on the rain, I may get a bit soaked getting work but at least I get there in one piece.