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@smiff
here's one for you...
a man and a giraffe walk in to a pub and proceed to get hammered: beers, shots, cocktails, the lot. you name it, they drink it. the giraffe eventually collapses and lays passed out on the floor of the pub.
the man gets up, steps over the giraffe and makes a beeline for the door. when the bartender notices what is going on he yells, "oi! you can't leave that lyin' there!" to which the drunken man replies, "it's not a lion! it's a giraffe."
one of my favourites