Help with shorts/jeans alternative... for a lycra virgin

I can't do the mtb shorts + kneewarmers thing. I don't shave my legs, so the kneewarmers end up sliding down and bunching over my knee. They're fine with cycling shorts, due to the extra gripper (of the shorts) holding them in place.

I suppose I need some sort of garter belt. No-one else would know, and I could feel all deviant and sexy whilst commuting.

I was thinking on days that I want to look like less of a roadie wannabe I could always whack some of these shorts over the top of my bib tights also a bit of extra warmth if it gets a stupidly cold, TBH I am so naturally warm most the time I rarely go for more than a base-layer, I only take jackets with me if I know i'm gonna be sitting out in the cold for a long time.
I don't shave my legs either....thats just a step too far for me.