I'm surprised no one remembers their school days, when the bullies used to get away with all sorts of havoc. The options remain the same now as they did then:
Scenario 1 (aka. The Steven Segal Scenario): 500 angry cyclists, decked out with helmets, u-locks, sharpened bicycle chains, chainring-shaped throwing stars etc. descend on Brick Lane Market. Thieves clock the cyclists, start packing up. Vans block off all exits. A small, lippy thief tries his luck and gets a deadly swift beat-down. A minor ruck ensues but the sheer force of cyclists renders their efforts laughable. They get corralled into a set of stocks and members of the public are invited to pelt them with rotten comestibles. The day goes down in history and bicycle thievery rates drop to a new low which means that no one ever has to lock their bike ever again.
Scenario 2 (aka. The Considerably More Likely Scenario): A group of about 10 particularly aggy and bitter cyclists go down and start kicking off at Brick Lane Market and are dealt a severe fucking-uping. Whenever any of them cycle through Brick Lane they are targeted by any lowlife that sees them, such is the awesome power of London's thieving wankers. Several other cyclists are unfairly targeted too and the plod's stance is "that's what happens when you when you take the law into your own hands".
I'm surprised no one remembers their school days, when the bullies used to get away with all sorts of havoc. The options remain the same now as they did then:
Scenario 1 (aka. The Steven Segal Scenario): 500 angry cyclists, decked out with helmets, u-locks, sharpened bicycle chains, chainring-shaped throwing stars etc. descend on Brick Lane Market. Thieves clock the cyclists, start packing up. Vans block off all exits. A small, lippy thief tries his luck and gets a deadly swift beat-down. A minor ruck ensues but the sheer force of cyclists renders their efforts laughable. They get corralled into a set of stocks and members of the public are invited to pelt them with rotten comestibles. The day goes down in history and bicycle thievery rates drop to a new low which means that no one ever has to lock their bike ever again.
Scenario 2 (aka. The Considerably More Likely Scenario): A group of about 10 particularly aggy and bitter cyclists go down and start kicking off at Brick Lane Market and are dealt a severe fucking-uping. Whenever any of them cycle through Brick Lane they are targeted by any lowlife that sees them, such is the awesome power of London's thieving wankers. Several other cyclists are unfairly targeted too and the plod's stance is "that's what happens when you when you take the law into your own hands".