• I'm off to carve a bit of wood into the shape of a fiddle, write "Stradivarius" on it.....then sell it on Ebay. Then I'll buy a flat on the King's Road, Chealsea. It's got to work.

    Nobody would get any money back, as it is a Stradivarius if I write that name on it. It just will not be the "original" Strad. I can see myself making millions!!!

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