Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

I hope he hopes that he really isnt a cunt, only to realise he really is one

I hope he reads this and then joins the forum to start a thread defending his honour and calling us names, but he cant because he's in the nursery.

I hope his fucking printer jams.

I hope he gets a big spot on his nose.

I hope he has very little washing to do and decides to do whites and coloureds together thinking that it won't do no harm, forgetting that one of his polo shirts has never been washed.

I hope someone gets crumbs in his butter.

I hope he doesnt ask which OTP to buy. If you're reading this James Martin, use the fucking search!

I hope he goes out to buy an item of clothing, which in the shop he really likes, but when he gets home and wears it again, he changes his mind and starts to think that it wasn't a good choice at all.

I hope he makes a big deal out of never being late but then is late to an important meeting.

I hope he buys an album based on merits on one track, only to realise that the rest of the record is mediocre.

I hope he asks a local person for directions whilst he is already in that place.

I hope his wife walks through the kitchen, which he had just mopped, with shoes still on, tip-toeing and pretending that you can't really tell.

I hope he brought an ex-rental DVD from Blockbusters only to discovered it's scratch to shit and he can't see anything.

I hope he goes on holiday and takes all his snaps on an old instamatic camera and looks through the viewfinder the wrong way and doesn't realise until he gets his prints back from Snappy Snaps only to find they're all close-ups of his left ear.

I hope his toilet seat falls down mid piss and causes him to splash on his carpet and then not be able to start pissing against once he's stopped because of the shock.

I hope he looks himself in the mirror tonite only to realize "omg, i´m such a cunt.... poor cyclists"

I hope he orders something online and the delivery company is Parcelforce.

now thats bad luck

Too harsh?

I hope he packs his shopping in the wrong order at the supermarket and gets home to find he's squashed the nose of his brie.

I hope he bumps into an ex-girlfriend on a bad hair day.

parcelforce touches a lot of things here.... it´s really all about luck with them

I hope his raffia mat has one stray strand that pokes him in the arm.

I hope he drinks bad milk tomorrow at BF and get the shitz the entire day

I hope he is at a busy bar and lots of people get served before him even though he waited for much longer.