Puerile sexist shite

I wonder if it's possible to create an idea of the ideal for the forum, the way that we'd want it to be as an online representation.

I'm afraid that I agree with the large number of those who feel that the forum contains a sexist element, but where I differ is that I don't think it's a new thing or that it's something on the rise... it's always been there, but with the increase in size it becomes more visible.

I recall a West drinks years ago... one of the early ones. Felicity and I were there, and it was put to Fizz by someone who perhaps thought it amusing, that the reason that I had not attended a ride the week prior was because I didn't have permission to come out... it wasn't quite a "ball and chain" comment... but even from that early moment it was plainly obvious that some people really were thinking in a way that I hadn't comprehended and that indeed it wasn't too surprising that fewer women exist in the community.

I see sexism and I see that the behaviours of some not only perpetuate sexism but also reward the sexism of others.

But I'm stuck in contradiction. Do I as admin do something about it, or should I let it be? This was the same question that was raised about the "glossy photos" thread, and unfortunately for those who would have me moderate everything I have a stronger belief in the need to keep the forum open, free of censorship and to allow the community to establish the decency levels and for the community to enforce them.

When it comes down to content I simply won't moderate anything that doesn't breach the limited rules that we have. And the rules that we have are there for 2 reasons, 1 is basic legal requirements (no race hate for example) and 2 to maintain a minimum level of service (no porn as it threatens that we will be blacklisted).

What I don't do is define a subjective level of decency. I don't push onto any of you the things I do or do not agree with, my morals, my ethics, my beliefs... you're free to act as you will.

Of course the downside to this is the sexist rubbish, the racist rubbish, all of that stuff.

I like to imagine, in fact this is where I get all hippy on you, that the community is a very large family, that we are a family who care for and protect each other, and that this loosely extends to all other cyclists.

I like to imagine that we have a good level of respect for each other, that we act fair by each other, that we would do unto others not just as we would have done to us but better than that.

I like to imagine that when things happen, that this community is there... standing strong and supporting each other.

I like to imagine that we don't need to create an artificial system of control to assess whether those in the family are behaving... I like us to exist in a little world free from censorship, a little world that operates as we would wish it, and most of us are anti-authoritarian to some degree and desire a free (as in speech) place in which we can exist.

For the most part this image although idyllic is actually factual. That in itself is incredible.

Where it goes wrong is in two places:
1) That some don't hold these ideals and manifest their prejudices in this grand conversation that this community has.
2) That those who do hold these ideals respond in a way not aligned with these ideals.

What I mean is that first people are sexist, racist, or just act like jerks... in fact let's just summarise all of that shite as being a muppet for the simplicity of it. So here we have muppets acting like muppets... but then instead of the idealistics attempting to unmuppetise the muppets... the idealists turn into muppets too.

And thus... a rapidly descending argument ensues, popcorn is brought forth, and then it all derails and dissipates.

With a lot of frustration I would ask, "Why can't we just step-back, listen to others, and try and aspire to treating each other in a cool way?". But this is the internet... what hope do we have? It's also a reflection on mankind who I'd put the same question to.

Fuck, I dunno... I guess I find both extremes as vile as each other. I like the middle ground, the mutual respect, the coolness of just being and enjoying being. I hate hate hate the notion that this community would need me, or anyone, to moderate it.

This is all a ramble. But really... instead of people getting defensive or picking apart every word someone says... let's simply exhibit the behaviour we want to see. Not just in one area, but in all areas.

I hate to invoke bill and ted, but... be excellent to each other.

And that means on here, and not just down the pub.