Build virgin, friendly advise needed please

i was only asking as i would like to get my bike up and running but i suppose your typical london wankers go wank off each other and stop dressing like geography teachers oh and for fuck sake liven up a bit

There are plenty of threads answering your question if you use the search properly, so chill the fuck out and spend a bit of time reading and working stuff out for yourself. If you can't be bothered to do some research want everything done for you then go to a bike shop.

Now where was that jizz covered tweed jacket with leather elbow patches...