Anyone know any good dating agencies?

Get onto the excon site and hook up with a couple of dudes. Tell them that if they really love you they'll run this chick down as she rides her bike. Soon as her face hits the pavement you turn up as the knight in shining armour and while swelling around the fractured cheekbone lasts, no other dude is going to give you a reason to get all jealous.

The excon will be back behind bars and she'll be eternally grateful. I can't see how this plan could possibly fail, it's like I'm a genius.

my single friend ..... sarah beenies dating site .... it obviously works for her

she is pregnant all the time after all

I went on a few gumtree dates a couple of years ago.... no luck as such but I'll summarise some of 'em and you can make your own judgements as to whether its worth your time.
1) I got left in a kebab shop; 2) asked if I'd go home with said date 'not for sex but so he could smell me' (he meant my neck, but it was still weird AND it was his first week off hard drugs); 3) I got a contact if I ever needed/wanted a firearm or a passport; 4) I got my hand set on fire cause the twit knocked a lit shot of sambucca onto my hand; 5) I got a really good mate out of it whom now subsequently dates one of my mates.... So I reckon it was worth it - not for me, but for them... they're blissfully happy now.
Oh I also reckon I got enough material to write a pretty funny book....

Left in a kebab shop... that is fucking awesome!

full of toffs/hooray henrys/rar rar girls, no?

With any luck. You'd be well in there.

"Rich girl with her own trust fund seeks bit of Sarf London rough for deviant sexual acts and bike riding."

Seriously Multigrooves, chicks LOVE those multi-colured allen keys.

kattieP may I introduce multigrooves
mulitgrooves kattiep

problem solved non ?

genius

Left in a kebab shop... that is fucking awesome!

It gets better: The whole date involved sitting in a pub watching England have their arses whipped in some football international (which I didn't mind, I'm a simple (not stupid) person and football is fine).... THEN I wouldn't put out, hence I got left in the kebab shop and I had to catch the bus home with enough falaffel to feed all of Brixton.
He emailed the next day saying 'sorry I acted like a toss pot last night can I buy you dinner?'
That is obviously what you call an english gentleman?

classy

dicki - you are an entrepreneur. Should we get you onto dragons den now? What a nich market.

It gets better: The whole date involved sitting in a pub watching England have their arses whipped in some football international (which I didn't mind, I'm a simple (not stupid) person and football is fine).... THEN I wouldn't put out, hence I got left in the kebab shop and I had to catch the bus home with enough falaffel to feed all of Brixton.
He emailed the next day saying 'sorry I acted like a toss pot last night can I buy you dinner?'
That is obviously what you call an english gentleman?

i'm pretty disgusted he didn't sort you out with a decent grilled lamb number, i'd have taken the football, and come ones and being left but to be sold out with Falaffel.. man i'd hunt him down for that!

What a load of shit Greasy!

I'd put out for falafels any day of the week.

kattieP may I introduce multigrooves
mulitgrooves kattiep

problem solved non ?

What if these two hit it off..... discussions about joining a dating website on a forum and finding a date.. i am sure their is a word in the queens english to sum that up

What a load of shit Greasy!

I'd put out for falafels any day of the week.

dropping your standards man and deep inside you know it.. 3/4 of a hide of lamb, slight red with a dose of the chili saaace or no look in!

theres a t-shirt in that for sure...

"will fuck for falafel"

What a load of shit Greasy!

I'd put out for falafels any day of the week.

tut tut tut balki, i thought you had some standards!!! Werent it you telling me the other night at norths you'd settle for a 20 rock and a can of tennants?

Its different for you Stringers.

my single friend ..... sarah beenies dating site .... it obviously works for her

she is pregnant all the time after all

Every time she's on telly she's got one in the oven?! Yet she's about 45!!

She must have atleast 6 kids now...?

Its different for you Stringers.

go on........lol

I've been on two blind dates in my life

1. She was fit but Welsh and wouldn't stop talking about her ex
   
2. Fit but got the hump cos I wouldn't shag her on the first date! I was playing the gentleman after she asked me back to hers - I later found out from our mutual mate that arranged it, she thought I didn't fancy her cos I didn't go back with her! Mind you, she was a Geordie....
   

go on........lol

Just saying you're a pretty handy sort is all...

I'm off to the pub to try my hand (yet again) there - wish me luck...

which pub which pub ?

i haz felafels

The Lamb I hope.