Sort-of jeans that are cracking you up at the moment

Oh that's very nice isn't it. I do my very best to entertain you all with tales of my failures as a cyclist and as a man and all I get in return are comparisons with ladies razors and marine molluscs. It's all clams with you people.

Clive, you're a lawyer - surely you must be aware that where there's blam there's a clam