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@MaxC
Haha, yeah mine's a Zefal SP4, feels like it's on its last legs, is more than twice as long as my Topeak Road Morph and gets about half as much pressure into my tyres.
I think the best option if you don't want to carry a bag/wear a jersey is to just tie your good mini pump to the underside of your top tube with bits of old inner tube or velcro straps.
(I'm pretty sure this discussion is dead, typing that last sentence felt a bit pointless)