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  • I merited two police with lights and sirens to fine me for urinating down a drain.

    They had been tipped off by the CCTV operator and raced to catch me red handed.

    Needless to say there was not much else happening in Winchester on a Sunday night it would seem.

    If I had been rather more polite they would conceivably have let me go with a ticking off, but I was "in drink" as they say and started referring to them as Sherlock and Columbo from the off, which seemed to annoy them.

    That pee cost me £60 in the end.

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