• I got a letter from Parcelforce this morning, informing me that they have a package for me that has a customs charge and they will deliver it once I've paid that. I go their website and enter my parcel reference number and get an error message saying it isn't recognised. I double check it and it looks okay, so enter again but again an error. I call the depot and try and pay via the automated service but, once again, the number isn't recognised.

    I then get put through to someone in the Charlton depot and he can't find it but there's another number and that is recognised.

    "That's good", say I, "can I pay it and arrange delivery?"
    "Uhm, no. You'll have to come in to the depot in person and pay the charge and collect the package."

    Useless fuckers. Their error yet I've got to schlep out to Charlton, spreading swine flu as I go, to pick up my parcel. Fucking brilliant. They can whistle if they think they are getting their admin charge. I may use their sister organisation to deliver a freshly laid turd afterwards too.

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