I promise never to do it again

This morning i had a hilarious incident with two of her majesties finest.

Hooning up the A3 this morning late for work, just past Oval i went through a red, thinking i could make the gap between two cars...i made the gap but gave the car behind gave a prolonged honk to which i returned with the finger without looking...ooops...turns out to be a police in one of those silver eco cars with two neighbourhood watch types at the helm.

Surely enough i get pulled, below is the transcript of the subsequent conversation

popo 1 : rant rant rant...spitting rage etc...i've never seen that before, that was so dangerous....rant rage rant

me : Im late for work, you finished?

popo 2 : extreme more rant rant rage rage

me : (looks very hurt by the nasty mans words)

Then the usual...'do you know how dangerous that is' etc and the classic 'we'll be the ones scraping you off the floor'..etc

popo 1 : motorists hate cyclists you know

me : and that's my fault is it?

popo 2 : How tall are you?

me : About this tall

popo 2 : Any tatoos?

me : Well i've got a tatoo of your name on my arse if that helps

popo 1 : EXTREMELY PISSED OFF RANT RANT RAGE RAGE

Now this is my absolute favourite bit, i did burst out laughing when it came out...

popo : 'You should be more careful about who you give the finger to, the next person might have a gun - especially round here'

me : Ummm....isn't it your job to make the community safer and that people don't get their hands on them? I mean that is what is says on the side of your car, right?

popo 1 & 2 look at each other think about saying something then think better of it.

me : Well unless there's anything else? thanks for your time officers, i promise to never do it again

Cue me wobbling along and crying with laughter....

Those two we're great i mean, i've paid more money to go to overhyped comedy nights that were worse than that. Seems like £30 well spent to me...

(This post is not meant to descend into a thread about RLJ's please for the love of god noooooo)

you sound like a nob.

Could you not just tack this onto one of the other tedious RLJ threads on here or bikeradar? sigh

why be so rude to them? they're just doing their job. i'm not a huge fan of cops, but i try to be at least civil to them when i encounter them.

I would have arrested you, and then beaten you in the cells!

That post reeks of BS. I bet you tweaked every line. Sad.

you got caught doing something wrong, got pulled up and was rude about it = childish

My 2 cents:

If you get pulled by the cops for whatever reason just smile politely, look like your listening, answer their questions and say your sorry if you commited an offence. In my experience this can be the difference between a telling off and a penalty notice. IMO antagonising police and being obstructive just becuase they stopped you for commiting an offence is stupid and childish... it's not cool and it's not clever.

If you are unfortunate enough to meet an officer who is full of sh!t, just suck it up, play along and bitch about it later on the internet.

Could've easily avoided the fine if you'd done the above.

you my friend are talking absolute bollocks, photocopy of the fine notice or gtfo.

he's my urban warrior cycling hero.

christ

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sive attack

and a pin

will puncture your tyre

d need sleep

[Regular listeners please have your earplugs ready.]

Traffic is a social environment. If for some reason, despite being assisted by the finest mobility equipment known to man/woman, travelling along on your bike in luxury and relaxation, you are unable, while unprovoked, to maintain a civil and friendly manner of getting along with other people, no matter what their mode of transport may be, you just fail.

Try to be assertive rather than aggressive--being assertive means that in your interactions with others you try to ensure that you're OK and they're OK, not like being aggressive, where you try to get your way at someone else's expense. Your story above is a prime example of how not to interact. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more, without having to pretend to be so above low-ranking police officers that their (in this case) justified complaint only makes you laugh.

The usual recommendation for cycle training--it can show you how to ride around London perfectly happily without contravening traffic regulations and will show you a mature riding style that will be very effective in filling your fellow road users with envy at your superior choice of vehicle, so much so that they might even feel inspired to make the switch themselves.

why be so rude to them? they're just doing their job. i'm not a huge fan of cops, but i try to be at least civil to them when i encounter them.

+1 Sounds very much like you [st]lied[/st] went out of your way to act like a cunt to them. I hate it when people get arsey about police when you give them no choice. They *can *be reasonable but only if you are too.

.

+1 Sounds very much like you [st]lied[/st] went out of your way to act like a cunt to them. I hate it when people get arsey about police when you give them no choice. They *can *be reasonable but only if you are too.

+1

onelangster

Mate, if you're going to make yourself feel better about getting a bollocking from the cops and a £30 fine by sexing up a little story about your exchange with them, do us all a favour and make it a little bit funny.

This EXACT same thing happened to me this morning!!!

Except while they weren't looking, I stuck a banana in the tailpipe. Then, when they were stuck in the middle of the roundabout, I ordered room service to their car window!

Eventually, we all became friends and went to the strippers. Their names were Rosewood and Taggart, I think.

Eventually, we all became friends and went to the strippers. Their names were Rosewood and Taggart, I think.

It's a very difficult job, stripping Rosewood - hope you took due precautions.