Cyclist Down

= "We have some scrotes who drive a yellow van who've dodged too many charges over the years and we want them done up good and proper. So the van was fucking yellow, OK! And you saw 'em do it. And they wuz killin' babies whilst making orphans shoot up crack at the time as well. Now, fine work Sir, you've made a real difference with this beautiful work of fictio... errr, I mean, beautifully factual statement."

This whole case was a bit of a joke from start to finish. Firstly the cops show up just as the van turns around the corner making their getaway... I run up to the cops: 'They went thataway 30 seconds ago you could catch them if you step on it'... 'yeah alright son we'll handle this from here' and they get out the car and take a slow walk around the scene. Doh (#1)

After giving the statement and everything I am waiting to be contacted for court etc, but nothing..... 8 months later I get a call saying 'by the way we've lost the case file so you won't be needed for court, thanks anyway'. DOH (#2)