Just crashed into a Lamborghini!

A man in a suit stepped out in front of me without looking when I was walking to the shops today so I punched him in the head. Stuck it to the man. He probably was wearing his father's suit but it was definately new and expensive. I coul have avoided it but chose to make a point. I contemplated killing him but decided against it. Can you love me now?

That's a coincidence.

I was riding to work today when I was interrupted by a fucking high-brow thought that was probably something my dad had indoctrinated me with, so I nutted myself in the cock, but not with enough force to cause any significant damage, even though I could've easily just swerved around my pubes.

It cheered me right up, I totally forgot about the migraine I had from injecting absinthe the night before, and I bet I won't be having any fucking smart-arse clever-clogs thoughts any time again soon.