• The only fair way to decide is to organise a chess competition to sort out the qualifiers, who would then be eligible to enter a 24 hour apple bobbing fund raiser in order to raise the £300 necessary to buy a raffle ticket made out of drugs. Whoever wins the raffle should then be forced to split the bike and sell to corrupt dictatorships internationally who would then be expected to re-sell the parts to fund the conviscation of all poverty stricken families' bicycles.

    i think you should just chop it in half

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