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@Daveypants
Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.
A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal "car" for snakes.
Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
4.Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
Many hearty lols from this site - http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/meltingpot/jinx/399/jokes/Stupid/Viz_Top_Tips.html