Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

Are you serious?

"Yeah mate, I wanna build a bike with all the coolest, trendiest bits on it, cost ain't an issue"
"OK, well first off all get yourself a £1,500 frame that you can cycle round the streets of London at 3mph so everyone can stare at you, then you need the wheels. I suggest you buys some £250 track hubs that'll shatter if you you go up and down a curb on, while you're at it, lace them to some heavy as fuck shit rims - Velocitys should do it, all the cool kats roll with 'em"
"Great mate, sold!"
"To top it off though, stick a trendy saddle on it, ltd edition so you can be really one step ahead! £350 but they only made 150 so it doesn't matter about cost
"Wow mate, you know your shit!"
"Thanks, I know"
"How long will it take?"
"Oh, only about a year...."
"Oh........"

Heres me thinking you knew your shit.....????

Who took down your conversation verbatim anyway?