A humble apology

I know it's no excuse but i've been having a pretty tough year this year...what with moving away from my children and seeing so little of them, and the prospect of not seeing them on christmas day for the first time since they were born, it's been getting to me lately.

Is this something money can solve? If a whip round happened and we got you a return train ticket... would that help?

Not preventing you from leaving, free to do what you want... but things like this specific thing really matter, they're your blood and your life... if our monopolising you in London is causing strain then I think we can work out how to get you to your kids for Christmas.

Of course, if it's not money that's the obstacle then perhaps we can't help. But if it's something as meaningless and frustrating as money, then definitely we can. The party is on Sunday and whilst I plan to help raise money for the LCEF I'm sure a 2nd pot can be put next to it to get you to your kids in time. It'll be like something out of Die Hard I imagine.

I REALLY appreciate the offer David...but sadly that's not the stumbling block this time.
It's gonna be my ex's first christmas in her new house with her boyfriend...the boys are part of a whole new family unit now and i have to respect that and understand that from now on things will always be different.
I think it's as important for them to spend christmas with their new 'dad' for want of a better word as it is for them to spend it with me.
As hard as it will be for me...i just want what's best for them...and i think them all being together this year is important.

Thanks so much for the offer though.

best wishes for the future, scott.
I always liked your posts, measured and eloquent even when expressing strong opinion.
if you go, your honesty will be missed.

i know exactly how you feel, been seperated from my ex for 4 years, she has new house/guy and it's a whole new family for Aaron.

Ah, that's a tough chestnut.

Let's do bromance instead. Come out Sunday and I'll get you sozzled.

Sorry to hear that Scott.
My son's dad hasn't called us in two years and a half and these family issues hurt like hell
all the best for all of you. TK

Scott,I'm very new here and obviously don't know you from Adam (I definitely don't know Adam)but It's clear to me you're a good guy with a big heart -good things WILL come to people like yourself.It'll take time but you will rise again triumphant!

I REALLY appreciate the offer David...but sadly that's not the stumbling block this time.
It's gonna be my ex's first christmas in her new house with her boyfriend...the boys are part of a whole new family unit now and i have to respect that and understand that from now on things will always be different.
I think it's as important for them to spend christmas with their new 'dad' for want of a better word as it is for them to spend it with me.
As hard as it will be for me...i just want what's best for them...and i think them all being together this year is important.

Thanks so much for the offer though.

Scott. I'm in a similar situation. Here's the thing that keeps me going. You'll always be their dad and the thing is no-one can replace you - because you'll always love them more than anyone else will. It's painful for you of course but also akward for your ex's new partner as he knows deep down he can never replace you.

as long as your kids know how much you love them, it doesn't matter whether they see you once a week or once a year. (TBH I'm actually a better part time dad than I would have been a full time one). What counts now is your relationship with your ex, maintaining openess and trust is absolutely critical, as it's gonna be her that reminds them who you are on a day by day basis and shows you a bit of empathy now and again.

your comments above clearly indicate that you get this, I just thought that it'd be helpful for you to know that, well, people go through stuff like this with their kids and it ends up ok in the end.

Channel your energy outwards, in a positive way when you can - meditation & volunteering worked for me, but take your pick from anything that helps you become the person you're going to be.

I REALLY appreciate the offer David...but sadly that's not the stumbling block this time.
It's gonna be my ex's first christmas in her new house with her boyfriend...the boys are part of a whole new family unit now and i have to respect that and understand that from now on things will always be different.
I think it's as important for them to spend christmas with their new 'dad' for want of a better word as it is for them to spend it with me.
As hard as it will be for me...i just want what's best for them...and i think them all being together this year is important.

Thanks so much for the offer though.

Sorry to hear this, it's not nice. I hope it all works out.

i think scot u take things too personal on here.

forum is an exchange of words only, and whatever you say or anyone says isn't taken seriously, unless
A] it's blatantly provocative in any way or i.e racist for example
B] it hits upon something everyone can do/join in for example a bike event.

other than that, frankly, there is nothing that remains in peoples minds more than the time it took to read.

My advice is to chill out, and remember, it's only a forum :D
RL is far scarier

My advice is to chill out, and remember, it's only a forum :D
RL is far scarier

It's true, she terrifies me.

1 Attachment

It's true, she terrifies me.

Be grateful you're not a swine

Scott for being under that sort of stress I'd forgive you just about anything

i think scot u take things too personal on here.

forum is an exchange of words only, and whatever you say or anyone says isn't taken seriously, unless
A] it's blatantly provocative in any way or i.e racist for example
B] it hits upon something everyone can do/join in for example a bike event.

other than that, frankly, there is nothing that remains in peoples minds more than the time it took to read.

My advice is to chill out, and remember, it's only a forum :D
RL is far scarier

I appreciate the advice Dylan, and maybe i do take some things too personally...but if i thought for one minute that this forum was nothing more than simply an exchange of words and that nobody took anything that either i or they said seriously then i would have quit long ago.
If you really think that nothing you or anybody else reads on here remains in their head longer than the time it takes to read it then what is the point in any of it?
Thankfully i do believe that this forum has had plenty of thought provoking and informative threads over the time it's been running...and i'm pretty sure that the majority of people on here can recall plenty of things that have stayed with them long after they've read it.
That's what made this place so great in the first place...the fact that it was far more personal than most other forums...it's always been much more than simply an exchange of words.

that is so true, i have met at least a hundred plus guys from joining this place, have about 50 phone numbers of guys i really have a hell of a lot of time for and care about and also class as damn good friends. it wouldn't have happened on any other forum.

it wouldn't have happened on any other forum.

+1

that is so true, i have met at least a hundred plus guys from joining this place, have about 50 phone numbers of guys i really have a hell of a lot of time for and care about and also class as damn good friends. it wouldn't have happened on any other forum.

... apart from Gaydar...

ok, and a few girls too..

there's a community of fg cyclists in london who meet, drink, eat, ride, play, race, and generally share their lives with each other. Some of them also happen to occasionally post on this forum. I feel proud to even associate myself with half of these people.

This community was originally brought together by the forum but that was ages ago (or so it seems). Things have evolved a lot since then. But it's difficult to let go sometimes, as we are hold tight to the things we love...

ok, and a few girls too..

angry girlfriend?

http://www.londonfgss.com/profile.php?do=addlist&userlist=friend&u=270

Scott, I wish you all the best. Forums can be amazing and depressing places. They always have a shelf life (even if it is a personal shelf life), especially when focused on niche/fashion type activites. Change is inevitable. I've been around since the beginning and do miss how it was back then but there's nothing anyone can do. Pissing in the wind type stuff. Take solice in the support on offer, it really is genuine.

I bought one of your first bags, love it and hope to buy you a pint sometime. Stay strong brother.

Have to say that you kinda had a point in your original outburst scott about a mammoth car thread on a bike forum, although there was another big car thread on here "back in the day" so it's not just something that would happen now.

The fact is that this forum has changed a lot over the last year or so. Whether it's better or worse will depend on your own point of view, but its certainly different. Less bikes, more sarcasm. I guess one speed bikes are pretty simple so people get bored of talking about them, but I also miss some of the things I liked about the way it was. It's interesting that quite a few of the people who used to be active on here haven't been around for a while.

I appreciate the advice Dylan, and maybe i do take some things too personally...but if i thought for one minute that this forum was nothing more than simply an exchange of words and that nobody took anything that either i or they said seriously then i would have quit long ago.
If you really think that nothing you or anybody else reads on here remains in their head longer than the time it takes to read it then what is the point in any of it?
Thankfully i do believe that this forum has had plenty of thought provoking and informative threads over the time it's been running...and i'm pretty sure that the majority of people on here can recall plenty of things that have stayed with them long after they've read it.
That's what made this place so great in the first place...the fact that it was far more personal than most other forums...it's always been much more than simply an exchange of words.

I get what your saying, but the bottom line for me is that it's a forum, and that's where it remains for me atleast. No more, no less. It doesn't affect my personal feeling about anything.
People say a lot on here they would never really say in person a lot of the time, unfortunately, that's human nature.
But it's nice to meet the genuine forum peeps on rides, like i did recently. That's where this forum really exists for me. Out on rides or events having a good time :)

That's cool...it is what it is to each person.
Maybe we'll meet on a ride one day...:)