Jokes / Joke du jour!

If it's any consolation when I tell it live my Jewish accent seems to slide in to a South African one :D

try this one then

It so happens that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, 'I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.'
Joe thinking that she was talking Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. about his boat, said, 'Hell no in fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.
I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle. '
The old lady fainted......

What are the voices in your head telling you to do now?