Advice For New Members

1. Use the search. Almost any technical question you have will already have been asked so just keep looking.
   
2. Once you've done that you can ask a more specific question; don't forget to add that you have already done a search.
   
3. Don't make your first post an expression of your prejudices.
   
4. If you get some grief, take it on the chin. Don't be defensive. DON'T quote and try to answer every piece of criticism . Be self-deprecating.
   
5. Don't come across like you already know everyone and everyone is your mate.
   
6. Look at the members' list and see who has been here a long time and who has the best reputation. You don't want to get into an argument with these people in your first week.
   
7. Don't try and make out you know more than you do.
   
8. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't be earnest; unless the subject is death or serious injury when it's best to start off serious until people understand your sense of humour.
   
9. Relax. If you're an interesting, intelligent, basically decent person then you will be welcomed. Don't try too hard. Be yourself; if you are a twat then being ridiculed on here is the least of your worries.
   
10. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
    
11. Chris Crash is posting from a secure mental hospital. Don't be too hard on him
    
12. give asm rep, as since he has suddenly acquired 2 little green boxes, he wants to have more than anyone else. Also, rate all of his threads as 5 stars.
    13.despite what you read in the papers and the cycle show guide never ever refer to a fixed gear bike as a "fixie".
    
13. You are not new to "the scene". There is no "scene", it's just a bunch of people who ride bikes.
    
14. If you do happen to be a Tory, keep schtumm about it if you ever want to get (+) rep from Platini...
    
15. It's/its; your/you're; there/their/they're; our/are - oar Platini will fucking kill you.
    
16. always rock out with your cock out
    
17. If Tynan invites you to go to a Mosque with him, DO NOT GO!
    
18. Don't ever spell Arrospok correctly, even if someone asks you how to.
    
19. OTP means Other Thread Pisshead, which is a polite forum way of asking you to remove yourself from the vicinity.
    
20. Some advice for new members is actually a crock of shit! (apart from 19.)
    
21. Leave me alone.
    
22. ignore anything hippy says
    
23. Murtle is allways guilty, until proven innocent.
    
24. villa-ru
    
25. never listen to anything an ex-courier has to say. they are all so bitter and twisted.
    
26. 54% of forum members don't have a clue what irony is.
    101: Don't mizzle with the dizzle if you ain't got no gizzle (appendix B/988-0: Remember to stizzle before you quizzle, else you get shiznit in the fizzle.)
    
27. spend your first week reading this thread
    

1. If Tynan invites you to go to a Mosque with him, DO NOT GO!
   
   

We can dress up as infidels and get stoned if you like.

We can dress up as infidels and get stoned if you like.

1. turn off avatars. you get to see people for who they really are. oooweee!
   

1. be wary of strangers
   

I've had her.

That was me.

Hands up who hasn't left their office yet. Cunts.

We can dress up as infidels and get stoned if you like.

HaHa! Sounds like a plan.

• rep - you whore
  
  

I just checked - you're all talk and no trousers! Although object isn't.