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@Fixedwheelnut
A bloke takes his mates back to his new flat after a night in the pub, after a few more beers one of them asks him what the big brass gong is on the wall?
"It's my speaking clock" he replies.
"How does it work then"?
The bloke picks up a club hammer and throws it across the room at the gong.
A voice from next door shouts "For fuck sake you cunt it's twenty to three in the morning"