• i hear you can get a mudguard from a well-known racist bike shop in london's urban london, veloreactionary.com, but it's made of finest marble and costs 17 million english pounds. however, you do get a free sticker saying 'i too am a racist fucktard who loves shit bikes: suck my bile, liberal frothers, for i am the reincarnation of benito mussolini and enoch powell'.

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