My New Fixie

Check out the breath of people who've been on the Champagne - smells like shit. I'm not saying shit as in bad, I'm saying shit as in excrement. If I had to narrow it down, I'd say cat poo.

Sparkling red tastes nicer and doesn't give you faecal airways.

You are clearly a mentalist and should be sectioned forthwith, not only for your own good, but for the good of wine conosewers like my own good self.

Champagne smells like cat poo?

Get out of town, goat botherer.