Worst (hilarious) injuries

I split my sisters head open when I was about 5yrs just before xmas day (her birthday) with a lid from a quality street tin. I was playing frisbee. I am a cunt

Besides various other scars/injuries, I've also walked into 4 lamp posts, 2 patio doors and my cousin holding a pencil at my forehead height.

i've run through a screen door, didn't realize it was closed, hit it so hard that the screen broke on top and two sides, cut me up, and then sprung back into the face of the person who was chasing me.

scars/ majorish injuries in no real order.
sun scar on my nose from a sun burn so bad it swelled up and pussed for a week
broken wrist snow boarding
broken wrist punching car
broken rib falling during polo
burns on my hands from touching a hot tear gas canister
broken rib from rail road bull
broken fingers from same rail road bull
broken wrist from same rail road bull
scar on my arm from something in a mosh pit
septum piercing ripped out of my nose
broken nose due to fist, face inter action.