Pissing Off The Balcony

I was at soho house about a month ago, at a wanky private do on the roof terrace, when a guest who was a little the worse for wear decide to take a piss off of the terrace, lightly showering the bouncer on duty at the bar downstairs - said bouncer and friends then came up to identify the culprit, but alas the perp had gone to the bog to powder his nose so was nowhere to be found, and instead the identified a german friend of the host (who turned out to be very sober, and the hosts accountant), convinced they had seen him, and hauled him out instead, chucked him in the gutter and took a slash on him.

By this time the actual culprit had returned from his suspect mission to the restrooms, and went downstairs to fess up, but the bouncers refused to beleive him saying they had seen the german do it, and there was no point trying to cover for him, so he returned upstairs to carry on, only to bump into a gentlemen who looked like a slightly worse for wear billy crystal, whom he christened billy chrystal meth, and then proceeded to pull down his trousers and do a dump on the floor in front of him. Needless to say at this point the bouncers relaised they he really was who they were looking for, and a swift ejection and shoeing followed.

and that, kids, is why you should just say no to drugs.