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@BringMeMyFix
I live in a council block in Old St. Doesn't mean anything. Why give up so easily? You could probably get a bunch of the forum (not form) time-wasters to meet up with you. Loads of them pretend to work around here, and seem to have a bit of a thing for vigilante tactics.
Whoever's got your bike is probably emaciated and drug-addled, and if they have a big dog, just grab its front legs and splay them apart to crack the dog's sternum. They'll probably want to meet in a public place anyway.